Froyo
If you are an insanely cool person like myself, there is one truth about the world that you cannot deny: froyo is better than ice cream. It just is. But that is not what I am here to rant about today, no no. Why on earth is there no froyo in DC? Are you telling me I have to drive to freaking Bethesda to get good froyo because that is absolutely absurd. Americans have had some cool inventions I guess, but froyo truly outdoes all of them. However, there is a total lack of froyo patriotism in this country, especially in the capital. There should be froyo lining the city blocks if you ask me. Give the people what they want.
Steps
As I make the treacherous climb to my first-period film studies class, naturally on the 4th floor, I’ve come to the conclusion that juniors deserve free periods. To fill the mandatory 8-credit requirement, I’ve drowned my schedule with the most painless electives imaginable, hopefully, to balance out my heavy AP course load. I find myself learning about the wonders of the Yellow Brick Road and weathering my 6th Art class instead of getting some prime-time morning sleep. So, as you catch the junior class roaming the halls, with dark undereye circles and LEQs in hand, remember they are walking to what could’ve been a free period.
Tummy
My stomach hurts. Every time I eat, drink, or chew gum, a striking pain hits me. I feel it deep in my core and it rises to my throat. Visiting a doctor is critical, but honestly, I’ll spend more time in the waiting room thinking of ways to describe my symptoms than actually seeing the doctor. They would probably just tell me to cut down on gluten and dairy and keep them updated. I don’t need a medical license to tell you that it’s not the food I’m eating. Send help (and maybe Lactaid)!
