Picture this, you’re ravenous in Tenleytown, craving the most authentic Italian cuisine: cheese pizza. But with so many options, how are you ever supposed to decide where to eat? Many of the esteemed establishments serve pizza, but which is the absolute best? Well, after spending a snowy MLK day trying all the Tenleytown pizza we could stomach, we have created an official ranking of the best pizzas. 

Note: Luther has a very particular definition of the word “Tenleytown,” one that does not include Papa John’s and Pete’s. Tenleytown ends at Chesapeake and 41st. Don’t believe him? Look it up. He will die on this hill, not the Fort Reno hill, because that is also not Tenleytown. 

6. Wawa – We were so excited to try the new Wawa pizza, advertised relentlessly by countless posters and monitors throughout the store. At Wawa, dinner starts at 4 (seemingly targeted toward the 3:30 afterschool rush). However, we entered Wawa at precisely 4:05 PM, imagine the shock on our faces when there was no pizza! We asked multiple times if they were serving it, and they said they needed to “fix their system”. After waiting ten minutes, we decided it was a lost cause. So if anyone has tried this pizza, please let us know. ?/10

5. Subway – The only “pizza” on the list that was taken out of a plastic bag and shoved in the microwave. Subway is not living up to its “eat fresh” slogan. It was disgusting. The bottom was PAPER WHITE. A series of adjectives to describe this “pizza” are as follows: extremely chewy, off-puttingly soft, and confusingly doughy. The only thing this “pizza” has going for it is the price of $4.79, but it still ended up in the trash after two bites. 1/10

4. Whole Foods – In 2021, the senior staff of the Beacon ranked Whole Foods as their #1 Tenleytown Pizza. We are here to ask why. We did not understand when people described that some pizzas “taste like cardboard” until we ate this pizza. It was crunchy, stale, and the cheese was laughable at best. Maybe the convenience of a grab-and-go pizza makes up for it for some, but save your $4.72 for a different slice. 3/10

3. Domino’s – We were the only people in Domino’s and it still took an agonizing 10 minutes for our pizza, the longest wait we had on this journey. For a whopping $10.99, you can get Domino’s smallest pizza available. One might wonder if the price includes the supposed “quality check” they do on the pizza while prepping. We were flabbergasted when our receipt named us “Sir” on our order after they did not ask for our names. After all the build up, the pizza was good. It smelled delectable, but the taste was only good. We loved the crust and the overall thickness of the pizza was perfect. At the end of the day, it’s Domino’s. 6/10

2. Angelico’s – Objectively, this pizza was worse than Domino’s. The $4 slice was overcooked and there were copious amounts of both cheese and sauce on a very thin crust. However, considering the price, efficiency in serving us, and the nice homey ambiance of Angelico’s made this place a second-place contender. It was the most “Italian” place we went to, which honestly, makes it worth it. And the pizza was fresh and hot (take notes Subway). 6.5/10 

1. &Pizza – Devan had low expectations for &Pizza but was pleasantly surprised and somehow managed to get to the top of the list. With a student discount of four dollars, you can get an ENTIRE one-topping pizza for just 5.99!!!!!! In terms of the pizza, it was fantastic. Absolutely no complaints. The crust was thin but in a so very perfect way. The cheese and sauce ratio was spectacular. We 100% recommend &Pizza as the best pizza in Tenleytown, especially with that sweet sweet student discount. 8.5/10