The Student Newspaper of Jackson-Reed High School

The Beacon

The Student Newspaper of Jackson-Reed High School

The Beacon

The Student Newspaper of Jackson-Reed High School

The Beacon

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Please help us cover our annual website operations cost! The Jackson-Reed Beacon is a fully independent, student run newspaper that receives all of its operational costs from generous donations.

How to land a valentine

How+to+land+a+valentine
Jax Downey

As the season of love rolls into view, it’s time to make moves and get a Valentine. It might be a little scary, but you’ve got this! Here’s a guide to ensure you find your other half:

  1. First, you need to attract your new potential partner with an alluring smell. Luckily, science has got your back. It’s as simple as purchasing a pheromone perfume off of TikTok Shop. The perfume is made with chemicals and infused with fake animal musk, all in hopes of making the wearer more attractive. You’re bound to find a Valentine’s date in no time with this special scent.
  2. If science doesn’t quite do the trick, it’s time to turn to witchcraft. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Grab an assortment of your favorite crystals, light some candles, and dim the lights. Find a potent love spell from Pinterest and make it happen. 
  3. For the extra brave people, you could ask Principal Brown to make an announcement on your behalf to show just how much you care about your crush. “(their name), will you be my valentine. From: (your name)” Public displays of affection are always well appreciated!
  4. If you’re artistically talented, then show off your skill with an origami bouquet that will definitely knock the socks off the lucky person you’re trying to impress. 
  5. Finally, take a page off the old rom-com book and perform a song for them. Recreate the iconic scene of Heath Ledger in Ten Things I Hate About You and prance around the bleacher steps singing your favorite love song. Careful not to slip on the melted snow! 

After completing this process, it’s now time for you to ask the big question: “How do I ask someone to be my valentine?” Well, that’s exactly why we’re here. While your special someone might be grabbing a notebook out of their locker, sneak up on them and pop the question. For people who are a little more introverted, you can pull a throwback to elementary school and write ‘“Will you be my Valentine?” Check Yes or No!’ on a card. This is such a cute and nostalgic way to give someone the butterflies and ask them to be your Valentine.

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