Your favorite food reviewers are back for another Tenleytown lunchtime excursion! Though this may be our most controversial ranking yet, we dove into the all-around favorite that is the taco. For those wondering how we stayed consistent in our reviews, we made sure to get a chicken taco with roughly the same ingredients at every place. Also, before seeing these brutal reviews, keep in mind that Tenleytown’s tacos are actually pretty good! We did not have a single bad taco. And if you have issues with this ranking, we don’t wanna taco bout it!
- Surfside – $10.95 per taco
The furthest spot from Jackson-Reed, we went out of our way to try and get this taco during an off-campus lunch. And boy were we disappointed. We received ONE singular taco, for which we were to share. ONE TACO!!! FOR ELEVEN DOLLARS!!! Yes, we will admit the rice on the side was absolutely delicious. However, we are not ranking rice! This taco was bland, basic, and boring. Though Luther may have had high hopes (Devan not so much), we do not recommend these tacos. 2/10
- District Taco – $3.89 per taco
District Taco is probably the most collectively hated place by the JR community. Directly across from its rival (?), Bandit, it is almost always ranked lower by taco fanatics. For a restaurant with the word taco in the name, you would think it would have pretty superb tacos. You would be wrong. The tacos were fine, at best. Nothing really special, nothing really abhorrent. It just tasted and looked like something you could make at home. We think that the only reason one would go to District over Bandit is to have somewhere to sit down, which is valid. 5/10
- Guapos – $4.95 per taco
In 2022, Luther ranked Guapos as his #3 best restaurant in Tenleytown. In 2015, Devan was served raw chicken at Guapos and was scarred FOR LIFE. Needless to say, we were very divided going into this review. It took 45 whole minutes for our order to be ready. There was no one in the Guapos and no reason for why these took so long. Devan almost missed her APUSH DBQ!!! After all of that, THEY WERE BLUE. The tortillas were blue!!! But, the chicken was doused in a delectable sauce and we got the signature complimentary chips and salsa. So all in all, it was a pretty enjoyable culinary experience! 7/10
- Chipotle – $3.20 per taco
The fastest of fast food on this list, what more can be said about Chipotle? As a global establishment, with absurdly long lines, they must be doing something right. And, as one would expect, their tacos were pretty good. Also, it’s the cheapest on this list! (except on Tuesdays) That’s all we have to say. 8/10
- Bandit Taco – $3.85 per taco, $2.50 on Taco Tuesday
I mean come on, we all knew this was coming. Our chicken tacos were nothing short of fabulous. They were not too dry, had an incredible sauce, and were perfectly paired with corn tortillas! If someone from JR wants a taco, there’s a nine out of ten chance they’re coming here and we can’t blame them. Though when it’s cold, there’s nowhere to sit, it’s clear to us that it has the best tacos in Tenleytown. Especially on Taco Tuesday. 9/10
